In lieu of the standard apology that I have traditionally administered in the past after prolonged and unexpected blog absences I thought I’d take a different approach here. Dive right into the stream of consciousness that has been keeping me preoccupied and away from the computer. No redress or mea culpa, just this. Me. Away. From home and from this place. But I’m back now. And if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to talk about it.
Any parent knows that the word vacation is a misnomer. There’s no vacation from early rising toddlers or moody adolescent ‘tweens. I don’t know about your kids but mine need to be fed (at least) three times a day and even with the overwhelming success of my first vegetable garden—someone still needs to go grocery shopping (apparently cherry tomatoes and cucumbers aren’t enough to live on). Laundry doesn’t clean itself just because it’s vacation and toilet training tushies need wiping even in paradise. (Too much information?) It doesn’t matter where we are, someone needs to intervene when my children are bickering, and traveling or not, if someone is sick, I’m the designated nurse.
This isn’t a list of complaints, and I’m sure none of it is news to you. (It is, however, the reason that I’m in favor of leaving the kids with the in-laws or, in our crazy flavor of blended family madness, my ex-husband, and escaping real life for a weekend every now and again. But I digress.)
So we go on vacation and we don’t exactly take a break, but—and here’s the thing—we do it all in a different place.
In the past I’ve made no secret here that our lives are full of compromise. We don’t live in our perfect house or work at our dream jobs and times are tough. We’ve made choices and we’re making them work. Mostly. And it’s not always pretty. When we can, we go pretty places. Like this month. We went here:
I’ve been coming to this place or some place just like it since I was a child. Visiting with my own children carries with it equal elements of peace and longing. Hard as I try I still haven’t mastered the art of soaking enough of it in to be able to draw it back to the surface in the heavy darkness of a January afternoon. When I’m in it I spend rather a lot of time trying to come to terms with why we ever have to go home. The dichotomy between vacation and real life doesn’t make any sense when we’re standing on the beach at sunset.
How does vacation mean places that that inspire our senses and ignite our spent fires, and home means compromising on such things?
But it does. And we do.
I’m hoping this year when the inevitable weight of that January afternoon settles on my chest these photos* will bring me back. And if not? Well, there’s always next summer.
*Please note that if you aren’t interested in more photos of my lost month of August you may wish to avert your eyes for the next few posts since that’s mostly what I’ve got in store.
Lovely photos. I’ve been watching them on flickr. I’ve tried to explain to my husband that when I go away with the kids it’s not a vacation. When I take the kids to the beach or the pool during the day while he’s at work, it’s still work for me. I think he’s getting it. As always you seem to have read my mind. I guess if you have to do the same thing every day you might as well switch it up once in a while and do it somewhere nice. I suggest San Diego in January. It totally hit the spot this past year.
This year I won’t be so lucky. Maybe I’ll just come back here and look at your pictures with you.
See, this is why we decided this year that we will spend the next year building an income stream that will allow us to live at the beach. I hope we can make it work. We won’t be rolling in cash by any stretch of the imagination, but if I have to be poor somewhere, I’d choose to be poor at the beach.
Wow, so much in this post that resonated. Having lived in a “vacation spot”, I can say that the thought of leaving your cares behind still plagues you when you live in “paradise”. I think what we suffer from is not having enough resources to not worry about the mundane day in and day out.
The expectations of what our lives are supposed to be, what a vacation is to mean are blurred by media, movies, stories of the old days etc. Reality is that many of us are struggling to make it all work. We are overloaded in our “now” society and we think we can have it all. I love how you talk about the reality and really put it out there to digest.
I loved what you reflected on and I agree that our day to day is always with us, unless we have the means to pay for all of those things to be done in which case, we then could really divorce ourselves from the lives we created and just chill out. Not certain that would sustain you long term, you like to live each moment of your life it seems. But a week I could take!
Hugs and glad to see you are living a real full life full of dirty laundry and sunsets by the beach!
Several years ago my husband and I went on a three month sabatical. We stayed in some lovely places and were refreshed. What we realized was anyone can relax in a 5 star setting. Mid sabatical we arranged to have our small home remodeled. We turned our home into our perpetual vacation place. A place of peace. Now, I understand that having little ones in a home make life crazy. I guess what I’m responding to is understanding what it feels like to live in constant motion and longing for the quiet clear glass water. I can’t even see a ripple in the water. What a great place to vacation.
Oh yes, I hear you. Returning home for me always results in a period of tweaking and re-adjustment. Somehow, where we live never seems to express who we are as people in the way I would like it to. It’s like we never fully colonized our house and the reality of that always hits me when we return. Somehow, on holiday, without stuff, it isn’t an issue.
‘In the past I’ve made no secret here that our lives are full of compromise. We don’t live in our perfect house or work at our dream jobs and times are tough. We’ve made choices and we’re making them work. Mostly. And it’s not always pretty. When we can, we go pretty places.’
Love that Amy, it so reflects how me and mine live too. Dropping in on your blog from time to time is still a pleasure, it’s the first and only blog that features in my life in this way – what you say weaves gorgeously with what I’m thinking about so often; there is a harmony in knowing a non-pressured connection with other women which is incredibly inspiring and comforting.
I read your posts and nod, smile, empathise and just plain think about and respect what you are saying. You have something important to say Amy and I’m so glad you continue to say it and that I’m a position where I can hear and share it.
Thank you x
One word: AMEN! Thank you for writing this post… It is soo true!
yes, yes, yes. vacation with children is not the same as vacation without (I can say as we are on our last day today!). It wasn’t bliss or highly rejuvenating, but it was a break from home. I love the beautiful lakes you’ve visited this summer, the images are wonderful. I’m certain to be back in January too. xo
Your photos are beautiful and I, for one, cannot wait to see the rest of your lost August!
Your%20photos%20are%20beautiful%20and%20I%2C%20for%20one%2C%20cannot%20wait%20to%20see%20the%20rest%20of%20your%20lost%20August!
I guess that it comes own to the fact that mom’s don’t generally get days off. Any then on the rare occasions that we do, we spend them missing our kids. Parenting is hard work – there’s no getting away from it. I’m right with you!
Wow – so beautiful and peaceful. I’m glad that you were away enjoying yourself. I also understanding the desire to have an everlasting vacation at the ocean – my favorite place in the world. I try to remember that if I really lived there my ‘vacation’ would soon turn into ‘real life’ and that I really have to figure some way of melding the two into a beautiful reality. Not too much to ask, right?
Glad you’re back!
I should be packing for our “vacation.” I always say it’s just a change of locaction, but the same old chaos. Love your pictures and totally understand how you use the work “vacation” very loosely when traveling with kids.
We are in transition times. We vacationed with our 15 year old son – he is pretty self sufficient. It was pretty relaxed. We were by the ocean. We are now working on a plan to get back soon.
I have been working hard on making my home a more peaceful place. Small details. Flowers on the table. More music – talk radio.
Gorgeous photos, Amy! I can see why the everyday stuff just felt better there…and I completely understand! {hello, Maine? Still recovering!}
“How does vacation mean places that that inspire our senses and ignite our spent fires, and home means compromising on such things?”
Oh, so, so true. So true.
I could cite Shakespeare and his whole “If every day were a holiday…”
Or I could refer to that Jimmy Neutron episode when his birthday happens over and over and over. Much to his chagrin.
Or I could just get off my yin-yang philosophical high horse and admit it sort of sucks.
Though it sucks a little less when we all get to glean fumes from the photos. Welcome home.
Oh those photos! They make your vacation seem alive even after it is over!! It looks like your time was wonderful…when does vacation come again?