or: where photography and life converge.
when i first started taking pictures—and for years afterward—my best images were made when i stepped closer to my subject. possibly, maybe even probably, composing the shot to exclude the ‘main’ activity and hone in on some small detail. (lately i believe i’ve begun to achieve some success with a wider range of subject matter, but still, only with a narrower angle lens). this might be why i like to shoot with my aperture wide open—so that i don’t get too distracted by the background.
it’s (yet another) way I find photography to be a metaphor for life.
too much information is difficult for me to process.
the front page of a newspaper becomes a giant blur and i end up retaining nothing.
or a city street assaults my senses and i retreat.
i’ve learned that one story at a time is how i process best.
this made school difficult and it isn’t any easier now that i’m living in the real world.
try telling three boys at the dinner table not to talk over each other when they’re excited about something because mommy’s senses are overloaded.
or changing lanes in traffic while they are bickering in the back seat and the music is too loud and your husband is on the phone.
i wish i could tell you that i’ve developed a sophisticated coping strategy but—not so much.
i get pushed out of balance easily. always have.
it’s not all bad though. this intensity. it forces me inward. to pay close attention. to look closer and see the details. of everything.
i love this about photography and about writing, and i love it about how writing and photography intersect. And I’m learning to love it about myself.
I just found this post beautiful – I have nothing to add really.
I’m trying to get better at focusing and letting other things go. My senses get overloaded very easily, and then I shut down, and I don’t want to shut down!
Well said. I can’t add anything either. Too perfect.
I thought I was the only one who dealt with sensory overload…I try to be patient with my middle child since he has it too. Thanks for posting about this as no one seems to talk about it…it makes me feel somehow inadequate sometimes.
Interesting. Sensory overload is very real and can be very distracting. My son is much like his father and has worked hard to tune things out when he is focusing on a task. It used to drive me crazy till I figured out what the heck was going on.
I love these photos.
Absolutely lovely perspective. Thank you.
Oh we are such kindred spirits. That is *exactly* how I feel about life. I feel like lately I’ve been super out of balance…in the best of ways but nevertheless out of balance.
I need to let my photography intersects a little more with regular life…
Fascinating. Not in the respect of learning more about you (although that is also fascinating) but in respect of learning something like this about yourself through art. I’ve found similar revelations through my own art. Even my obsession with quilting, but not sewing generally is a reflection of me.
Oh yes. I’m finding that my camera is the key.
Without it, I can’t stop scanning the horizon, thinking about dinner or laundry or when-did-the-dog-last-go-out, but with it, I am there. Paying attention to the wood chips in their shoes and the blueberries on their faces and the moments.
At that point, the product doesn’t really matter.
But yours is beautiful.
Oh%20yes.%20%20I’m%20finding%20that%20my%20camera%20is%20the%20key.
Without%20it%2C%20I%20can’t%20stop%20scanning%20the%20horizon%2C%20thinking%20about%20dinner%20or%20laundry%20or%20when-did-the-dog-last-go-out%2C%20but%20with%20it%2C%20I%20am%20there.%20%20Paying%20attention%20to%20the%20wood%20chips%20in%20their%20shoes%20and%20the%20blueberries%20on%20their%20faces%20and%20the%20moments.
At%20that%20point%2C%20the%20product%20doesn’t%20really%20matter.
But%20yours%20is%20beautiful.
I can really relate to what you wrote. But unlike you I wasn’t like that when I was younger. I feel I could do ten things at once, be aware of ten things at the same time and didn’t find it overwhelming but now… it’s quite different. I find the simple activities of daily life overwhelming and when I try to add things to that even enjoyable things like seeing a friend or quilting or reading I just want to retreat, take a nap, close it all down. What’s this about? Am I just getting older and finding life too much. I’m trying to take things as they come and do what I can and not be too critical of myself when I can’t do something. For me part of it I know is being disabled by the car accidents I was in and I think part of it is being a wife for 36 years and a mother for 28 years and I find I often want solitude instead of being around people that all these years of being responsible for other people (even though it’s changed) has taken it’s toll and there’s not much left to give and I have to conserve what I have in case I need to use it. I think as women we just keep giving and giving and giving and no one (except other women) notices or appreciates how much we do and how we make things work for everyone and we don’t get “thank yous” enough or surprise presents. We, who are always aware of a sentence someone made about something they like and we remember and surprise them with it at some point. We don’t have enough people, sometimes no one, who notices what makes us happy or would turn a crummy day around. I think we need to be more aware of that and vocal about that with our friends and family so that maybe someone will hear and out of nowhere a small package will be lying at our front door with the book we really wanted to read or a pair of earrings we noticed in a store or our favorite muffin.
This post really resonates with me.
Thank you for the reminder!
Reading your last few posts leaves me smiling and reflecting and in awe a bit. I don’t know what to say except “lovely” and “wow” and “congrats on your recent invites” and most importantly, “I’m glad to be reading.”
Hope the next few weeks of August are just delicious.
Amy, I love this entry- so lovely and true. thanks for sharing.
So profoundly true, this. It’s funny, I feel like I’ve lived my life through a 50mm lens, but it took me 37 years to find the actual thing. A very shallow depth of field, I’ve always had, just never knew what to call it. No coincidence I’ve a child who is overwhelmed at the sound of two voices in a room.
Love this post.
Eloquently: Yup!
I am exactly the same way, photographically. I could have written that first paragraph myself! But of course, you did so much more eloquently than I would have.